Marital Law Page 15

  Sweat poured down my forehead and my palms felt like a soaked sponge. I squeezed my spear tightly, fearing it might slip out of my hand and bounce off the ground, while I looked down in horror. While watching it fall away, I imagined my small body being impaled on the boar’s tusks, while it tossed me to and fro vigorously. Somehow, I managed to hold my ground, and thankfully my weapon.

  I could feel an asthma attack coming on me like a tsunami crashing onto the mainland. I forced myself to take deep, steady breaths, but I could tell an onslaught was inevitable. Knowing what was to come, I jumped onto my feet, took aim at the creature, and let my spear fly. I never got a chance to see whether or not I'd hit my mark. My airway closed and I found myself flailing around on the ground like a baby bird that had fallen from its nest. The irony of my situation wouldn't hit me until many years later.

  In a daze, I somehow managed to remove the small pouch of treatment ingredients from my pack. My mother was the one who had gotten me started on the combination: ginger, mustard oil, and garlic. It tasted horrible, but it normally helped calm me. Unfortunately, not much of it actually made it into my mouth, even less down my throat—swallowing was torture.

  At some point, I gave in to the dark truth: I was going to die in the woods and Black Death would fill his belly on my carcass.

  When I awoke, my throat felt like I'd gotten lost in the Mojave Desert for months with no drink. Realizing what had happened, I quickly looked around for the boar. To my pleasant surprise, he was lying on his side with my spear embedded a good foot through his right eye, into his head.

  Calming, I slowly made my way back to a standing position, and tentatively moved near the creature. As I looked down on the beast, a slight smile came across my face. At only twelve years old, I'd just killed the creature responsible for murdering and wounding numerous people from my community. I would soon become a legend. Or so I thought. Unbeknownst to me, two women from town had been hiding out in the woods, hunting the boar as well.

  “Step away from my kill, little girl!” Sounded a deep, raspy voice to my rear.

  I turned and was surprised to see two rather tall, slender women coming towards me. They looked older, mid-thirties, and it was obvious they'd been on the hunt for many days. They both looked dirty, as if they hadn't been down to the river to wash in months. If I had to guess, I’d say from their looks they were sisters, but I hadn't seen them around the area before. They had hair down just below their shoulders, pulled back with dried what I thought to be small lengths of vine. They were striking, even in all their filth.

  Gathering my wits, I said, “That spear in its head says that is obviously not the case!”

  The two studied me for a few seconds, their eyes boring into my soul like my spear into the boar's skull. And it felt similar as well. Finally, the spokeswoman for the two said, “We'll make you a deal, little girl. If you can best either me or my sister, we'll allow you to keep that wild pig of yours.”

  Many beats. Grudgingly, I reached out and wretched my spear from the head of Black Death, and said, “This is wrong, dead wrong! You watched me kill that animal. It rightly belongs to me!”

  “We saw no such thing. My sister here threw her spear and dropped this beast on the spot, from a hundred yards away. We did, however, watch you flop around on the ground like you were dying.”

  “I can tell from all your help that you were pretty concerned for my wellbeing!” I replied angrily.

  “Your little episode was mildly entertaining. And for your information, we could've just taken the animal while you were on your little hiatus from the hunt.”

  Even at my young age, I found myself searching for signs of weakness in the two women. The nonspeaking one gave off an angry vibe, something I felt I could use to my advantage. The other, the obvious alpha female, not so much.

  The alpha must've known what I was doing because she quickly closed the gap between us and motioned her sister around to my rear.

  “I'd think long and hard before I tried something foolish, little girl! I'd hate to see you do your little earth dance again!” She said pointedly.

  Bitterly, I acquiesced. I gave one last glance over at the boar, bent and retrieved my pack, and headed deeper into the woods. My mission still wasn't complete. I'd spent the night in the woods, but I still had to come back with food, a kill.

  It took me another eight hours in the woods before I finally came across a scavenging raccoon tearing into the dead carcass of some mangled animal I easily speared him and started making my way back home.

  At the entrance to Providence South, I saw quite the raucous and knew right away what was going down. My anger boiled and I vowed to never again allow anyone to take what was rightfully mine.

  The Darcy sisters (I found out their names later, because they became very well known) claimed credit for my prized kill, earning them quite the reputation in our community. But I knew the truth, even though no one else ever would.

  With the skinned coon strapped to my back, I made my way into the center of the gathering. It took the sisters a few minutes to place me, and when they did, both of their looks dared me to challenge them.

  I squinted my eyes and nodded my head a few times, just to let them know that I knew the lie they would forever live with. It probably didn't affect them in the least, but it helped quell the anger flowing through me.

  ****

  Sleep didn't come easy that night. I couldn't get my mind to relax, to give me peace. Every striking blow, every animal I'd killed thus far replayed through my head. Methodically, I broke each hunt down into steps, noting the things I'd done wrong and right in each instance. I spent hours running through the list, making sure I corrected anything I'd done incorrectly. I would be ready. I would win.

  I spent the next few days at home, wondering if I would actually be able to take Kaylee's life, if it came to that. Even after her betrayal, I still loved her. We'd shared so much together, endured the toughest training and tests known to women. At one point, I felt closer to her than my own sister, Adeline. She...stop it, Sidnie! Quit allowing yourself this pity! Move on! Prepare your mind and body for battle and make her regret her decision!

  Sitting, thinking about times past, my mind regularly liked to fantasize about life prior to the war. Even though I'd never admit it, the thought of staying at home and raising my children greatly appealed to me. To not have to worry about killing all the time, whether it be animals or human, not only excited me, it brought out a longing inside of me that I had more than a little trouble putting down.

  The way Colin had looked at me left me wandering what my life would’ve been like

  if I had given up everything and moved into the forest with the Manumissionists. I envisioned Colin courting me, showing up at my doorstep each day, taking me for long walks down by the river, making small talk without a care in the world. You blew all that, Sidnie. He’s probably dead by now!

  I never realized just how much the stress was affecting me. My shoulders felt tight, my neck ached, and my head was started to follow suit. Why couldn't life be easier? Why couldn't I bathe in the river, play games with my friends, and actually prepare a meal for myself for a change? Why did life have to be so hard? Who said we have to live this way? MOM, that’s who!

  This longing in my heart was something I knew would never be quenched, at least not as long as I lived under the rule of MOM. I'd never confide it to anyone in Providence, but picturing myself living amongst the Manumissionists sounded more than a little inviting. Eating their food, playing with their children, being one of them, belonging. The latter was something I felt like I'd

  spend an eternity searching for, only to come up short, empty-handed.

  My life felt void, meaningless. The only thing that truly made me happy was watching the kids in Providence South during their playtime, and that intense look in Colin’s eyes as he stared at me.

  The children seemed so carefree, so happy. They hadn't been weighed down with the worry and stre
ss of this world. Hunting and killing for food and being ready to kill in order to keep your husband were the furthest from their minds. I was like them once. I ran, jumped, rolled, and laughed. But I knew it wasn’t the same. Mother and Father rarely looked relaxed, and even at a very young age things always felt scripted. Life in Providence wasn’t fun, wasn’t natural. Spontaneity was something that only occurred in the forest.

  In Providence, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d actually smiled, much more broken out into full laughter. Hunting and tracking animals to eat brought me some happiness, but even that has gotten old, monotonous. It took less and less effort on my part to take down our daily meals.

  Over the years I'd studied all of the animals around Providence South, and I knew everything about them: their travel and sleep patterns, their favorite hiding places, even their mating habits—which ended up being the most beneficial in thinning out the deer population. Problem was, this made hunting a mindless sport for me.

  My life would never be like that of a child again. That just wasn't our way. Hard work had replaced play time, and that part didn't really didn't bother me that much. It was fact that we weren't allowed to even voice missing our younger days for fear of reprisal.

  Trust was such a precious commodity in Providence and seeing how Kaylee had so easily trampled on mine made me never want to put myself out there again.

  Sometimes when I'm alone, I liked to venture out into the woods and watch the birds. When I was a child, I'd do the same with the other animals, but now that I'm grown the only time I looked at them was when I took aim.

  Birds, on the other hand, weren't something my people ate, therefore I enjoyed seeing them flutter about, chirping here and there and everywhere. And they had so many beautiful colors: reds, blues, greens, blacks, yellows. They were magnificent. I could watch them for hours.

  It was sad to me that the animals around me couldn't be appreciated for anything more than their edible value. When times got tough, even the dogs and cats were subject to the dinner table. There were many months when deer, squirrel, pig, and coon were scarce, and hunger had a way of obliterating one’s fondness for strays.

  From one of my grandmother's stories, I'd learned that food hadn't always been this scarce, that large buildings used to sell everything one needed to survive, be it breakfast, lunch, or dinner. I imagined it a glorious thing to enter this place and trade paper currency for meat and vegetables.

  There's an old rundown building in Providence South that’s said to have been one of these places, but the only thing there today is dust and cobwebs. It was hard to picture this structure as ever having been the center for groceries and other household goods. The yellow sign can still be seen dangling by the end of a wire. The first part of the name is missing, but the latter was Mart…something or another.

  Chapter 21

  Day three came and I was pretty exhausted from not sleeping the night prior. I had tossed around so much in the bed that I grew angry and even let out a yell of frustration at one point. This of course scared Caleb, and I spent a good hour trying to calm him. Needless to say, I departed my house before the crack of dawn, yawning and rubbing sleep from my eyes. Better put, rubbing lack of sleep from my baby blues.

  Walking towards town, in the direction of mine and Kaylee's battle, a war was raging within me. My mind yelled fight to the death, while my heart screamed just as loud, Kaylee is your best friend. Both sides argued their points, but neither gave an inch.

  This was an impossible situation, one that wouldn't have a victor, only loss. I could kill Kaylee, but to what end? I would likely never get over losing her, even though it felt as if I already had.

  There had to be another way, an alternative to fighting to keep one’s husband. I knew just thinking such thoughts were dangerous, but after being in the Manumissionists camp, I couldn't help but question. Why couldn't we be free to marry whoever we wanted, to daydream about the old days. Something better, different?

  My mind was so clouded that I couldn't focus on what had to be done.

  As I stepped into the dust filled battle ring, I noticed the small group of friends Kaylee and I had grown up with, all amassed in Kaylee's corner. None of them would even look at me, their shame evident on their faces.

  No matter how hard I’d trained, how hard I’d fought, or the amount of animals I'd hunted and killed, these so-called friends had never really accepted me as one of their own. My asthma made me some sort of freak show, an outcast. But none of them would dare say it to my face.

  Abruptly, two of the girls hopped onto their horses and began doing circles around the arena. Their horses kicked up so much dust, it was hard to see anything. My throat started constricting, and I felt my breathing quicken.

  Anger flared through me as I realized this was Kaylee's attempt to put me out of commission without raising a hand in battle. Biting down hard, I hit myself in the chest, forcing the asthma away.

  To my surprise, it actually worked. My rage somehow managed to calm my breathing. A rare occurrence, to say the least. My focus was on Kaylee now, and nothing else. If she wanted to fight dirty, then I'd give it to her.

  Reaching down, I scooped up a handful of dirt in my right hand, lifted it above my head and slowly let it sift through my fingers onto my head. And then I smiled a spiteful smile.

  After the dust settled I made my way over to the procession. They all parted to allow me entrance. Still no one looked me in the eye, except for Kaylee. The love and mutual admiration was gone, replaced by a hatred that wasn't deserved.

  For a minute, I faltered. How can you do this? There has to be another way?

  “Where's Caleb? You know the law, Sidnie. He's supposed to accompany you to the battle! I win, he comes with me!”

  “He will be here,” I replied, now completely abandoning my earlier questioning. My aching heart would have to wait. Time to protect what was mine, to dispatch the threat against my family.

  “Are you sure you are up for this?” Kaylee asked, trying to intimidate me.

  “This was all your doing. And thanks for the extra dust these girls stirred up. It really helped clear out my lungs!” I said as I gave Kaylee a look of death. A beat. “Well, let's get to it then. Shall we?” I said, raising my spear for emphasis.

  The spectators, traitors in my opinion, moved further back, giving us a wide berth.

  “Sure is a shame it has come to this, Kaylee. You definitely had me fooled,” I said, using my words to throw Kaylee off-guard, to give me an opportunity to attack.

  Kaylee paused, a crucial mistake. I rushed forward, spear held about four feet out in front of me. She regained herself, managing to sidestep the brunt of my blow. But the spear sliced through her side like damned up water bursting through the river, effortlessly.

  Only half of the spear had gotten her, but it was enough to open her flesh, get her attention. Crimson quickly stained through her shirt and began to spread outward. She looked down in surprise.

  Quickly, I came back around for another strike, but this time Kaylee thrust her spear out and prevented me from hitting my mark. We tussled for a few minutes, each holding the others spears a good breadth from our bodies.

  Lifting my booted foot, I let her have it right in the same side I'd just wounded. She let out a howl and dropped her spear in the process. Before I could swing mine down through her chest, I saw two girls—one on each side—ushering my sister, Adeline, towards me.

  Frozen, I temporarily lost train of thought. Adeline's face looked badly bruised, beaten. “What...what is...?” I started.

  Something sharp rammed into my leg, the pain excruciating. Realizing too late my mistake, I tried to turn and prevent future blows, but Kaylee yanked her knife out of me and used her spear to sweep me off my feet.

  I landed on my back with a thud, completely at a loss as to how to do such a natural thing as breathe. My entire world stopped, panic swooping in like a hawk preying on a helpless bunny rabbit.

  Afte
r many beats, my breath returned to me, at first ragged. Another beat and my asthma took over. I fumbled in my pocket for the magical concoction my mother had come up with, but it wasn't there. Panic, unlike any I'd ever experienced came over me like a sandstorm pelting a tent.

  My thought processes were completely annihilated, and my ability to rationalize abandoned. I was no longer the calm, collected woman who calculated my opponents every move. I was utterly and completely undone.

  Flailing around on the dusty earth, I managed to make eye contact with the crowd gathering around me. Kaylee hovered, spear poised, ready to pierce my heart, to forever end my life on this earth. I thought I saw a flicker of doubt flash across her face. Of regret. But the sound of clapping and congratulatory remarks changed all that.

  Through blurred vision, I saw Adeline come up alongside Kaylee, but she was no longer being held prisoner. When she placed her arm across my ex-best friend’s shoulder, a more devastating betrayal hit me like a brick wall.

  I gave up fighting the asthma attack, gave up on life. I slowly shook my head, letting Adeline know my disappointment. “No,” was all I could say over and over again. Tears filled my vision and I began to accept my inevitable death. What did it matter? What did I have to live for? This life was filled with distrust, hatred, and fear. I wanted none of them.

  ****

  There was an open field up in the distance, a vastly green meadow filled with flowers. It was beautiful, like something I’d only seen in paintings. I decided to walk there, but when I tried to put one foot in front of the other, I suddenly found myself hovering. Before I knew it, I was there.

  Plopping to the ground, I lay on my back and looked up at the sky. It was clear with only a few vestiges of the clouds that were surely there only minutes earlier. Glancing side to side, I took in the beauty, the aroma of the flowers. I wanted to remain here, wanted to spend the rest of my days in this place.